It was time to begin today’s Emotion Exposure Procedures and Identity Therapy. The Physician noticed Invisible’s agitation. She looked at Him out of the corner of her eyes and quickly looked away. He sat in a chair close to hers with His elbows on His knees and peered knowingly into her eyes. She could not meet His gaze.
He asked, “Where are you?” Now she met His gaze with eyes flaming with rage.
“Where am I?” She stood, paced and flung her arms as she yelled. A nurse pushed the IV pole, tried to keep up with her and dodged her flailing arms all at the same time.
“Where am I? I’ll tell You where I am. I’m still in this stupid hospital-not taking care of my children. And what about my things that were in the back of the U-Haul? Are they broken? Have they been taken care of? Where am I? I can’t believe You asked me that. I’m also in pain! You’ve got this stupid, stupid drain in my side and won’t let me have any pain meds. So I’m in PAIN! That’s where I am!”
The Physician looked like He was watching a tennis match, but His eyes closely watched her throughout her tirade.
When it dawned on her that He hadn’t said a word, she stopped pacing and looked at Him. He tilted His head and squeezed His eyebrows together as He nodded. There were tears in His eyes. One escaped.
Her head began to reel and as she was about to collapse, He lifted her up in His arms and gently placed her on the bed. She studied the look on His face, and thought, He feels my pain.
Her anger disintegrated.
He held her hands and spoke softly, “Emotions, which are buried deep in your soul, come from thoughts and beliefs which are buried deeper still. As we expose and process these emotions, we locate and unearth the thoughts and beliefs that fuel them. Nutrients produced through this process are released into your blood stream, while poison is drained. You can’t have pain meds, because if your emotions are numbed, we cannot locate the thoughts and beliefs, so they stay buried. This is what caused blockage and damage in your faith artery in the first place. I propose we deal with this properly – as difficult as that may be – so we won’t have to go around this mountain again. Hmmmm?” He sat on the bed beside her.
He continued explaining, “Emotion Exposure Procedures must be implemented simultaneously with Identity Therapy, because as poison drains out, your true identity must take its place in order for your heart to be nurtured and strengthened. Sooo, do you think you can tell me what the beliefs were that caused you to be so upset?”
Invisible shuddered with fear at the thought of being so vulnerable.
“Well, I believe I need to take care of my children. Without my care, harm may come to them.” She hesitated, but for the sake of her health, she continued. “As far as the pain goes, I believed Your care was an act and You were a psycho out to torture me.” She looked down at the floor in shame.
The Physician answered ever-so-softly, “Yes. That is exactly what you believed.” He lifted her head. “That poison is leaving your body even as we speak. Do you still believe that’s who I am?”
She studied His face for several minutes. “I have seen many, many faces of deception. When I look at You, I see truth. I see compassion. I see love.”
Now her shame also left.
The Physician beamed from ear to ear. “Well said. You are learning who I am. Now, some questions to ponder. Do you still believe that you can keep your children from harm? Are you able to keep yourself from harm? Do you really know what causes harm?”
“Hmmm. There’s a part of me that wants to say, ‘Yes, I can,’ but I know it’s not true. No, I can’t keep us safe, and that really scares me.”
“Don’t be afraid. Realizing this is half the battle. Simply allow Me to protect you. All of you. I will protect you by My name.”
Invisible gasped and slapped her forehead. “I’ve focused on myself so much, I never asked what Your name is! I just keep calling You the Physician.”
The Physician laughed. “Well, I am the Physician, but My name is Yeshua which means Savior. I’m always with you, willing to help you and save you, although it may not always be packaged the way you think. The procedure we’ve been through today is a good example of that. Do you believe this?”
Invisible mulled that over and said, “I think I see what You’re saying.”
“There’s one more thing we also need to discuss,” Yeshua said. “The ones who stole your U-Haul have survived.”
Invisible struggled for breath.
“Remember what you just learned about yourself. You can’t handle this. Remember also what you learned about Me. I am Yeshua, your Savior. You were created with free choice. I will not force Myself into any circumstance in your life. When I knock on the door, you must choose to open the door and invite Me in. Do you have room for Me in this situation or do you choose to handle it yourself? Our relationship will only grow as you turn to Me and talk to Me.”
“Thank You for reminding me. Thank You for being so patient with me as well. You’re right, of course. I can’t handle this.” She took His hand and said, “Please help me.” She drew a slow deep breath, leaned back on her bed and relaxed. She drifted into a sleep more peaceful than she’d ever known.